"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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