i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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