see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
