I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize