i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
