I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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