so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
