took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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