Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
