We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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