The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
