Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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