Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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