the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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