I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
wow bdsm is so cute
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
