failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
