why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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