you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
