so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Randomize
