so explain again why im purple
no
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
