Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
