I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
