yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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