how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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