Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
