You're a womanizer and a bitch.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he puts the penis in happiness.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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