i used baking grease as lip gloss
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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