I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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