Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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