I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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