Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
