As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
