i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
