So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I've blown a few things in my day
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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