That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
