No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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