I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
