batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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