who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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