I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
