You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
