Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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