remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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