have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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