I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize