Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
