this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
