I'm jealous of your bromance
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
