HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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