3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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