She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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