i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
How does it feel to date your dad?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize