i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
