Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
