what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
