I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Non-Jews are for practice
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
