even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
