Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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