She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
