Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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