She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize