they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Text me some of your sweat
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
